We call him TOOTHLESS.

LOVE THAT TOOTHLESS SNOW LOVE'N SMILE!!!

Best Kids EVER

100% at Being Your Best!

Both Jake and Tess were awarded for being the best behaved kids in their class. This is a very big deal at their school! So proud of them.

Learning without Dan

Warning: few pictures, LONG post

This week has been filled with lessons learned. So much so that I want to record it and commit in writing to acting on what I’ve learned.

Dan left for Tennessee after church on Sunday to be gone for a week for work. I had plans of sorting baby girl cloths and shipping them off to Liz, a ladies luncheon here, play-dates and organizing.  And best of all, sleep train the dog. (Get Buddy to go from 10-6 without needing to go out to the bathroom.)

Sunday night I was up with an upset stomach. Monday, from 6am-12noon, I vomited and was to sick to leave my bed without hunching over with a bowl in hand.  Lucky for me it snowed that night so Jake and Tess had yet another snow day. I was able to pull out all of breakfast and lunch and Jake took care of the rest. I put Tess in charge of Clara. I let the kids watch shows with coloring and Legos in between.

***Lesson learned—I knew it is hard to be sick with 4 young kids but had no idea just how miserable it could be. I learned that my kids really could get a long and help each other when there is a crisis. I learned that Tess is a sweet little mama. Jacob really enjoyed being “in-charge” of feeding everyone and taking care of the dog.

At 930A.M. Tess came to me with a stinky Clara. I changed her with my last diaper. There was no way I could go to the store to buy diapers.  I texted a friend who lives close by, Val, and she came to my rescue with some of her baby diapers. She then passed the word along to the Relief Society president who then told my visiting teacher that I was sick and without a husband for a week. Jennifer called at 4P.M. to say she was coming with a box of diapers and dinner for the kids.

 *** I am so grateful for a friend I could call on in a bind, and a visiting teacher who now really feels more like a “friend I can call on”.

Tuesday Jake and Tess had school. I wasn’t vomiting any more, just felt a piercing pain in my stomach that has been a reoccurring thing after stomach issues. I still managed to get all the laundry done and kitchen cleaned. I knew that the weather was calling for rain and ice but didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. Boy was I wrong.

***Lesson learned—always fill the tub downstairs (with door locked) even if there is a slight chance of a big storm.

Wednesday at 430A.M. I woke up to a steady beeping sound. I found an irritating fire alarm beeping and realized our power was out. After getting a flashlight I twisted off the cover only to see a bunch of wires. I wasn’t sure what to do so I went back to bed. I began to think through how I’d manage with no power and no Dan. I had two pitchers of water to use, that’s it.  I went out to the garage to try to open our huge water barrel that we got for emergencies and couldn’t get it open! Great. I thought about the possibility of the kids getting my stomach bug. How would I clean cloths with 2 pitchers of water we need for drinking and flushing toilets? ( I did have a couple juice bottles filled under bathroom sinks.)  And on and on my thoughts went. I began to panic and didn’t sleep.

At 6 I got up with Buddy and saw this...

The kids were up by 630 excited for no school! I called Dan to fill him in on the situation. I needed to learn how to stop the beeping fire alarm and how to open our water barrel. We had the water but didn’t have the right tool to get it out. It was then that I realized I only had 10% on my phone with no way to charge it. My only source of communication! More panic. I realized the kids were picking up on my anxiety and prayed that I’d remain calm with the kids.

***Lesson learned—Know how to dismantle a fire alarm (it only took 3 days for me to figure it out!).

***Always charge my phone at night!

***It’s great to have water in a barrel for emergencies but so not helpful if you can’t get it out.  Buy a cipherner.

We did our normal morning routine and then I went about trying to entertain them without the use of any electronics.  We read books, played Telestrations, Spot It, Charades, colored, worked on puzzles, Legos, and played with their American Girl dolls all by 11 A.M. The house was 63 degrees and the kids were bored.

**Lesson Learned—Buy more puzzles. They are frustrating but surprisingly fun. Put puzzles in 72hour kits.

***I get cold a lot faster than my kids.  I wish I had their ability to not be cold in a drafty home.

***Abby is such great entertainment. She had me laughing during charades. I had quite the time guessing her “made-up” animals. I’d have to ask for hints like “what sound does it make” and she would make all kinds of noises or “what does it look like?” and she’d describe every color and image imaginable. And then to top it off she’d have a clever little name come out of that brain of hers.

The fire alarm beeped for a consistent 4 hours but then beeped every once and awhile. I put Clara down for a nap; she wouldn’t sleep without complete silence in the house since I didn’t have batteries for her noise machine. Surprisingly the kids were happy playing in the cold dark basement. I then went to the neighbors to see how everyone was doing. My neighbor Jane was out getting her mail and talked to the mail-lady. Jane told me the ice storm had done a lot of damage; homes were out of power all throughout Green Valley. It it could be days before the power was back on. I told her about my phone situation and she lent me a car phone charger! I went to plug the phone into the car and realized I needed to open the garage door. But how? I had no idea how to manually do that. So I opened the only window I could reach in the garage and turned the car on hoping I wouldn’t inhale to many fumes. I checked in with Dan. He told me he’d contacted Bonnie and that I could go over to her house. But how was I going to get the car out of the garage. All the neighborhood men were gone. I called Jennifer, my visiting teacher, who sent her husband over to open my garage. Earl was so kind. He quickly showed me just how easy it was to open and close the garage door.

***Lesson leaned—Continuous beeping noises are a form of torture.

***You can charge your cell phone in your car in emergencies (totally didn’t think of that in my panic state). Always have a phone charger in your car.

***My visiting teacher and her husband are so kind and willing to help multiple times a week when I’m in a bind.

***Garage doors do open without electricity and it is actually really simple. Open the garage door before you get a head ache from the fumes while charging your cell phone with the charger you borrowed from the neighbor.

***We need two cell phone car chargers.

After Clara’s nap I packed up the kids and we were ready to go to Bonnie’s by 5. But what to do with Buddy…he would have to come, crate and all. As I was getting the kids in the car Jacob told me he’d stay here. I asked him what he meant and he then told me that he knew I’d need help with Buddy so he’d stay so he could help when I got back. It really surprised me. He is a thoughtful sweet kid, ready to be my number one man when I need him.  I took all the kids over to Bonnie’s. Cooked spaghetti and helped Bonnie a bit. James got home and wasn’t exactly thrilled to have 8 kids greeting him with lots of noise. I took Jacob and Clara with me to go back and get Buddy. It was really dark. Really dark. Jake helped me get the huge crate in the back, all of Buddy’s things, and then helped me get Buddy in the crate. As we were leaving I thought about the fact that Buddy had chewed through the 2 leashes we had bought for him. Bonnie’s home isn’t completely fenced and so how was I supposed to take him out to go potty without a leash. So we stopped at 2 stores to find a leash on our way back to Bon’s. When we got back it was 740 and the Warner house was completely dark. . Two seconds after Jake put it on Buddy to get him out of the car the leash snapped! Broke. Really, a $36 leash! Jacob helped keep a hold of Buddy while I arranged an area for him in their garage. Jake and I tried to get Buddy to use the bathroom before putting him in the crate but he was too spooked by the new surroundings, he wanted his crate.

Bonnie and James were upstairs and had sent Tess and Abby downstairs to get ready for bed. I sent Jake to bed, he was sleeping with Benny, and got the girls to sleep in the back bedroom in the basement. Clara didn’t take to the pack’n play very easily.  Everyone was in bed, the house was dark, and it was 8pm. I talked to Dan on the phone for a bit and then decided to go find Bonnie despite a completely dark house.  It’s not easy navigating someone else’s home in the dark. Bonnie and I chatted for a a few minutes and James joined us after awhile. I took a nice long hot shower and laid down for awhile. I was paranoid that Buddy would wake James and Bonnie throughout the night and I wouldn’t hear him since I was in the basement. My super power ears kept me up all through the night thinking every little creek in their house was Buddy about to wake up James. When I took him out at 10pm he still wouldn’t go potty. So I set my alarm and tried to take him out again at 2A.M. and then 6A.M. That frustrating scared big puppy didn’t go potty for 13 hours straight! Not until the sun came up.  

***Lesson leaned—dogs complicate EVERYTHING.  (As a side note: Dan and I had planned to drive down to South Carolina when his Tennessee trip came. He was then going to drive 4 hours to TN and leave me with the kids visiting family for the week! We couldn’t figure out what to do with Buddy so I stayed home! GrrrrrrrR)

***Buddy is really strong. Not having a good leash just doesn’t work. I ended up using a linked chain and put the carabineer that was on my key chain on it to make a leash for him.

***I really appreciate having Bonnie and James’s warm home to crash in emergencies. But there is nothing like the comfort of your own home.

Thursday morning I tried to be as helpful to Bonnie as I could, really appreciating them allowing us to crash at their place.  Jake and Tess had school, a 2-hour delay , which I think should have been cancelled. When we went home at 9a.m. it was 50 degrees in our home upstairs. Brrrr. I got the kids off to school and then Abby, Clara and I hung out with our coat and shoes on.  I brought Buddy back to hang out in our fenced back yard. I did some cleaning. I felt sick cleaning out the spoiled food from our fridge. I didn’t think to be selective in opening it on Wednesday when we were home all day and so it wasn’t cold at all. Most of the frozen food was pretty thawed. I took some food over to the Rohn’s and learned from Charlie, who managed a grocery store for over 10 years, that some of the food I’d thrown away was still good. Val gave me hope when she told me a shared friend had talked to the power company who thought they’d get to our area that day!! Yea! I went home and went through the garbage I’d already taken out. I also didn’t think to put food in a cooler outside on the porch. Hello. Now I know. Around lunchtime we were ready for some warmth. I took the girls to the Damascus Library to kill some time. We ate at Subway before heading over to Bonnie’s to give Clara a nap. Despite my efforts Clara wouldn’t nap. We came back to the house by 3.

***Lesson learned—Be selective when opening the fridge when the power is out. Put food in a cooler and outside if it’s Winter when the power goes out.

***I’ve never dug through trash before. The fact that I was saving us money lessoned the disgust I felt putting my hands in spoiled leftovers of dinners cooked.

***Don’t take Clara to the public library without a stroller. The “country-folk” of Damascus didn’t seem to mind our noise too much.

I came home to a very loud noise. When I went inside the mudroom I saw cables going from a huge generator on the porch, in through the sliding door, and up around to the fridge. Buddy had pushed the sliding door completely open and was enjoying those live cables! I received a text from Val saying they had brought a generator over for me. I called her with lots of questions. I had no idea how to use one. I needed to move the cable from the sliding door to the kitchen window. While I was talking to her she shared the sad news that a friend of ours had talked to the power company and they wouldn’t be able to be to our area until the next day and then it could take up to 24 hours before we’d have power.

I really thought the power would be back on at this point. I called Dan to give him and update. Learning he wouldn’t be home until late Friday night just pushed me over the edge and tears flowed. I didn’t know how to stay in our dark cold home without him but felt like I was too much of a burden at the Warner’s. What to do? And no more water. Just then Val showed up at my door. All splotchy faced from crying I had Val’s help moving the cables to the kitchen window and then she talked me through how to heat just one room and what I’d need to do. So grateful for Val!

I loaded the kids in the car to go get dinner and then get settled for the night. I decided to go check in with our neighbor’s, the Conover’s, who now had a generator running. (two other neighbors already had generators) While I was talking to them the unthinkable happened…the power came on! I don’t think I’ve been so truly happy in a long time!  I asked Mike if he’d help me turn off the generator and make sure the house was all good. As he was bringing the screen to the kitchen window in from the mudroom he accidentally broke our doggie gate. He used zip ties to fix it and I thought we were good to go. On our way out the door to get dinner the Relief Society president showed up with yummy treat/brownies to check on us.   After a quick visit I put the brownies on the counter, put Buddy in the mudroom and we left for Chic-fi-la.

Clara was beyond tired so within a few minutes of eating we had to pack it up and go home. I was feeling very happy! Then BUDDY greeted us at the front door! He had broken through the broken gate. Then the kids and I looked at the empty plate on the floor. Buddy had eaten the entire plate of chocolate brownies that I’d put on the counter. The kids immediately started wailing “BUDDY’s GOING TO DIE!”  “Chocolate is toxic to dogs!!!”  Dan and I had taught them well, what not to feed Buddy. They were beyond consoling. Totally freaking out. Abby was crying because she really wanted one. Clara just joined in the hysteria. My thoughts at that time: really, REALLY. Another thing gone wrong! Really. I called Dan. Poor Dan. He thought someone had died given the noise and my delivering of more things wrong. I called two friends in the ward who work/worked for a vet. No answer. So I called a vet emergency service. I was given two options. 1. Bring Buddy in and they would pump his stomach (at the cost of hundreds of dollars) or 2. Just watch him. Since he didn’t eat a large amount of pure chocolate the vet thought he’d be okay. He told me what to watch for and we called it a night.

***Lesson Learned—Don’t call Dan when the kids are screaming bloody murder.

***Brownies won’t kill a dog. Thanks to the other ingredients in brownies they will only make a dog very gassy!

***Dog gates that are broken and then fixed with zip ties are still broken. Close the sliding door or put Buddy in the crate.

***Buddy will always go in his crate when I leave the house from now on-- even if it’s just to go around the corner to pick up the kids from school.

Friday I spent the day cleaning and shopping so when Dan walked in at 1030 that night it was if nothing had happened.

So, to say I missed Dan would be a huge understatement. I rely so much on him. I rely on his calming assurance when things go wrong. I rely on his know how and muscle! I rely on his complete care of the dog. I rely on him too much.

***Lesson learned—Dan is not allowed to travel anymore!!!! Just kidding.

***Lesson Learned—We are not as prepared as we thought we were.

Dan surprised the kids with gifts and me with an hour massage, appointment already made for the next day. It was heaven! 

To do List:

1.    I need to organize the Emergency/Camping equipment really well and so I know where everything is.

2.    I need to use every Emergency equipment several times so I know exactly how to use them.

3.    Save our pennies quickly!! We need a fireplace and then a generator to power the fridge and well.

4.    I need to add to our Emergency Phone Number list on the fridge: the vet, our power company, and all neighbor phone numbers.

5.    Fill the downstairs tub (locked) if it looks like there is any chance of a storm.

6.    Buy a wire leash for Buddy. Or give him away.

Fancy Abby

When I got Clara dressed this morning I laid out cloths for Abby like I usually do. Abby decided she wanted to be "fancy" today and put on this instead...

Two shirts, two frilly skirts, pants and go-go boots! What a gal!

Abby-isms:

Abby talks about her birthday on a regular basis. Today she told me she was ready to turn 5. She told me she wished she could be 5 while Andrew, our neighbor, is 5.  She then told me "it's not that I'm in love with him. Dad says no in-love-ers in the family until I'm as big as him."

No "in-love-ers"!? 

Love her!

Dan was telling me about something that happened in an elementary school lunch room in Utah, of all places, that made national news. I responded, "some people are so messed up..." to which Abby chimed in, "Like You?" without missing a beat. Dan laughed so hard he was crying.

Driving over to Bonnie's house Abby told us, "I have a long idea! Lets count all the chimneys in the world!" It's not a long drive. She has some great, random, ideas.

122. What's that, oh just Abby's favorite number. Seriously, she has stuck with that number for a while now.

Abby wanted another piece of chocolate. When I told her no more she says, "ok, I"ll cool my jets down!" I guess I've used that phrase cool your jets. Made me laugh.

A week of doctor visits and sickness.

Dan had a physical this week, complete with blood work. He is healthy.

Tuesday morning I was trying to pull down the Tilex from a high shelf and sprayed myself right in the eye. I immediately started rinsing out my right eye. I read the bottle and did as it directed--20 minutes of continual rinsing. After an hour my eye burned with just as much intensity and was swelling shut. Not realizing the severity of what I'd done I luckily had the thought to call my eye doctor and was going to just ask how long it would burn. I was told to come in immediately. I drove very slowly with one eye open. I dropped the girls off with Aunt Bonnie and then headed to the doctor. The doctor immediately put the most heavenly drops in my eye that took away the burning temporarily.  I love numbing medicine. She continued to rinse out my eye for what seemed like forever and then did a thorough exam. The good news, my eye will heal, the bad news--I chemically burned half of my cornea (and this accident would cost a pretty penny). She prescribed two different drops, one to use every hour and than an antibiotic to use 4x a day.
This experience has taught me several things: chemicals labeled dangerous to the eye are really dangerous to the eye, I will be more diligent about making sure my cleaning chemicals are properly closed after using them, it could have been so much worse, I am so very grateful for two working eyes, and lastly our bodies are amazing things. By the next morning the burning was gone! I could open my eye again. My vision was still blurry in the one eye but the doctor assured me that day that I had begun the healing process and would be good to go within a couple days.

(not at all flattering but documented)

 Jacob had a procedure done today at the dermatologist. He has had a raised bump at the bottom of his neck for a long time now. We decided to get it checked out a couple weeks ago because it had become painful. This bump needed to be removed. The doctor prescribed some numbing cream that I applied an hour before his appointment. Jacob was very nervous. I'm afraid he might just have my kind of stomach, very sensitive to anxiety. Jacob was very tough. He teared up a couple times but fought to keep his composure. I prayed to keep mine. First Dr Yeager tested the area to be sure it was numb and it wasn't, which brought tears. Jake got a shot to completely numb the area and was so brave through that scary part. Then the nurse came in and set up all the tools. I saw Jacob's face begin to turn pale as he looked at the scary instruments and again he forced the tears away, his lip quivering. It took the doctor 20 minutes to drain out the benign tumor. Jake didn't feel pain but a lot of pressure. The doctor believes it is Pilomatricoma, a benign tumor. The lab results will be in when we go back in 2 weeks to have the stitches removed.

I was nervous for Jake as we sat in the waiting room. My tough exterior little boy held my hand tightly. Made my heart hurt for him. Then when I saw him fighting tears I about lost it myself. I'm so grateful for the power of prayer. I wish I could take all the pain and anxiety away for my children. 

He was very brave and will be just fine.

*Update for original post*

We had the Blue and Gold banquet tonight. I recommended we take two cars just in case... Well at 830 I left to take Benjamin home with all the kids in the minivan. Dan called me minutes into my drive to tell me he'd thrown away his keys (with his wedding ring attatched). He and Val Rohn started going through the bags of leftover lazagna disgustingness and then he realized he'd left them in a bag some place else. After getting the kids to bed late I woke up a couple times to help a coughing Abby and then  to a sick Jacob. He vomit all night with a stomach bug. 

It's Friday morning. Jake's doing better. Dan and I are tired. And Buddy is at the vet getting "fixed". 

What's next???

Love my 18month old Clara!

Combo of 2 things she loves: being naked and shoes. 

She loves shoes. She finds shoes and stashes them away for me to find days later. 

She is such a cuddle-bug. Dan and I love it. She enjoys being held and gives lots of hugs and kisses.

She is learning so much every single day! She loves to sing songs, dance with Abby, and play peek-a-boo. Her vocabulary is bursting with new words. She mimics our sounds and catches onto the new word immediately.  She still loves to babble and say Abby about 50 times a day. She calls Buddy- Bubby- it is my new favorite name for our big puppy. She loves to copy me and says "Bubby NO!" after I do or just when she wants to. She can say "mommy, I wan..." or "all gone", and "pa-pee"for passey. She has her version of all the kids names. Abby is as clear as can be. Tess sounds like Dez and Jacob is Dacob. It's cute.  I love that she is able to communicate with us now. It makes life so much happier.

She says "go" all day long. She'll reach for my hand and take me where she wants to "go" (usually the door to go outside).

She has a fiery personality to match her hair I do believe. She can be very stubborn but then melts into tears when I reprimand her. I have to be sure that she never gets a hold of a pencil/pen/crayon. I let her color in her high chair but have had to magic erase the walls too many times. She constantly climbs on the kitchen table or up on the drawer handle just below the oven/stove. I now put her in her room for timeout when she does this over and over.  The other day she was upset with me and slapped my face (not hard). I immediately put her down. She started to cry and Dan told her to say sorry to me. For the first time she said, amidst the biggest tears "Sowey Mommy". Melt my heart. She now likes to use that phrase.

She is finally saying Daddy when requested! Happy Daddy. Clara has been in nursery since May with Dan but she is finally at the age where she can really enjoy it. (So does Dan)

Dan will make to "guns" with his hands and make a clicking sound at her. She responds with two pointed fingers and her own clicking sound.

 She loves Abby. Abby enjoys her most of the time. 

 She hates to get washed in the tub. I don't know why we have weeks where she is okay with getting her hair washed and then weeks where I'm torturing her. Abby loves baths and so Clara is never on her own in the tub (which might be part of the problem). Abby and Clara love to be naked. They love to run naked! After dinner or after baths they will run in circles naked squealing with laughter!

She takes one nap (at random times of the day thanks to having 3 older siblings). She is using a sippy cup more and the bottle only at sleeping time. She has mastered using a fork and loves it. She isn't a big eater still. I have a hard time getting her to eat much of anything. She does love sugar, just like her mama. 

She loves to play the piano, especially when Jake and Tess are suppose to be practicing.  Tess doesn't mind. 

Clara has had 3 ear infections in the past two months. This last one the pediatrician put her on antibiotics for 20 days. Dan has read several articles about the over use of antibiotics and we have become concerned with how much she has had over the past 5 months. If she gets another ear infection she will be going to a specialist for tubes.  December has been a rough month for her, and me at night. She wasn't sleeping well because of fevers, ear infections or coughing from a cold. She is attached to my hip when she is sick.

 She was getting pretty good at balancing on the tramp and started to "jump" before the snow hit.

I can't imagine life without this beautiful baby girl. I just had a traumatic, almost car accident with only Clara in the car with me. The women was looking down at something else and as I veered out of her way she veered the same direction. It wasn't until I honked that she looked up and slammed on her breaks. In those few seconds of me dodging the on-coming car my thoughts were " my baby, don't hit my baby!" I spent a good 15 minutes shaking and crying to Dan on the phone...and we weren't hit. I pray daily that Heavenly Father will help me keep my children safe. I know at that moment the angels intervened for me and my Clair-Bear!

Aimee's Christmas Visit

Aimee came for her traditional Christmas visit right after Christmas this year. It was just what I needed to look forward to.  At the top of our to-do list was visiting Monticello, something we've wanted to do for years now. We all loved Monticello. It seemed so much more progressive than Mt Vernon. I loved the big rooms, Thomas Jefferson believed in having the latest and greatest. He didn't want to take away from the beautiful scenery, on top the highest hill around, and put all the space needed to keep his  home running under his home. The view was gorgeous, even in the Winter.

  I caught on camera a really cute interaction between Abby and Dan. Melt your heart cute!

After seeing Monticello we had to drive by our old stomping grounds. I think I was about 4 when we lived in Charlottesville so I don't remember much but Aimee sure did. We saw her old elementary school and the townhouse we lived in. We took pictures and reminisced about the time Chuck and Steve built a snowman in front of the neighbors door, when Aimee searched the nearby park with her best friend trying to find her pet ginny-pig, and Aimee and Emily hiding love notes to the neighborhood boy in the dirt. It was the second time we've been able to visit a place we've lived. Then Aimee treated us to Coldstone before we headed home. YUM. We stopped at Cafe Rio for dinner. It was a fun day, even though Dan had a head cold (which turned into a sinus infection).

Because of all the sickness leading up to Christmas we had to postpone making our gingerbread houses until after Christmas. We invited our neighbors, the Conovers, and lucky Aimee made gingerbread houses for the 4th time this season (first time this year though). After the kids finished piling on the candy Tara and I sat down and made one. I'll never be to old to decorate a gingerbread house. It's a lot of work being now that I'm the one doing the prep work but it's totally worth it.

Abby and Andrew

Jake and Michael

Emma and Tess

Mike and Emma

For New Years Eve Aimee made 3 difference ice cream pies, we played games and headed to bed before midnight. Actually I stayed up past the new year finishing a book but Dan's sinus infection was really bad so we called it a night early. 

It didn't take long for Clara to warm up to Aimee. 

Clara loves her Aunt Aimee and chose to be in her lap/arms often! 

 Tess was very excited to have Aimee meet Buddy. And Dan and Buddy are still mourning her departure!! Aimee helped Dan in loving on this big puppy. I sure wish she lived closer so Buddy could enjoy the animal lover that she is (so does Dan)!

Every time the kids see Aimee they request the "tickle blanket" game. 

They love it. She is so good to them!

Aimee and I took the three older kids to see Frozen.  It is so fun to go the theater with little kids, since it hardly ever happens it is a big treat. Our week with Aimee went way to fast.  Poor Dan was sick the entire time so we didn't do as much site seeing as we'd planned. But we sure loved all the game playing, movie watching (Here Comes the Boom is a new favorite), eating and chatting.

I'm so grateful for her! After taking her to the airport I came home totally bummed. My sisters are my best friends, it's just so easy with them. I miss them.